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102 Silly Halloween One liners and Jokes for Kids

One Liners And Jokes

One Liners And Jokes I amassed these up for my granddaughters, but I concept I percentage them here with you all too.My granddaughters asked me if I could print the ones out for them to take to highschool for his or her Halloween birthday celebration. Which I did and made them into little booklets one for every of their classmates. This gave me the idea to make up the ones little booklets for the trick or treaters too.

One Liners And Jokes 

One Liners And Jokes

One Liners And Jokes

1)Q: What are the days of the vampire week?
A:Moonday, Toothday, Veinsday, Thirstday, and Frightday.
2)Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A: A guy with very high blood pressure
3)Q: What is a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
A: A blood vessel
4)Q: Why are vampires stupid?
A: Because they are all suckers.
5)Q: Why are vampire jokes bad?
A: Because they are a pain in the neck
6)Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite
7)Q: What type of pet dog do vampire’s like the best?
A: Bloodhounds
8)Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A: A stake sandwich
9)Q: Where does a vampire have lunch?
A: At the casketaria
Halloween One Liners

One Liners And Jokes

One Liners And Jokes

Halloween One Liners
10)Q: What surgery does a vampire doctor perform?
A: Fly by night operations
11)Q: Why did the dyslexic vampire starve to death?
A:He couldn’t find any doolb.
12)Q: Did you hear about the unsuccessful vampire hunter?
A: He tried to kill a vampire by driving a pork chop through
its heart because steaks were too expensive.
13)Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: They have bat breath
14)Q: What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
A:Casketball…
15)Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a werewolf?
A:A fur coat that fangs around your neck…
16)Q: What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving…
17)Q: What is Transylvania?
A:Vampire’s terror-tory.
18)Q:Where does a vampire water ski?
A: On Lake Erie.
19)Q: Why was the Baby vampire scared to go to the bathroom?
A: Because he was scared of the light.
20)Q: Where do vampires store their money?
A: In a blood bank.
Halloween One Liners
21)Q: What does a vampire fear most?
A: Tooth decay.
22)Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?
A: At a blood bank.
23)Q: Who did the vampire take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend.
24)Q: Why couldn’t the vampires wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.
Halloween One Liners
25)Q: What tree does the vampire love the best?
A:A ceme-tree.
One Liners And Jokes
26)Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop!
27)Q: What do you say to a skeleton going on vacation?
A: Bone voyage!
Halloween One Liners
28)Q: What skeleton was a famous detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.
29)Q: What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
A: Lazy bones.
Halloween One Liners
30)Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A: A trombone.
31)Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn’t have the guts!
Halloween One Liners
32)Q: What do you say to a skeleton before he eats?
A:Bone appetit!
33)Q: Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town?
A: Because they don’t have any body to go out with…
34)Q: Why can’t a skeleton have fingers more than 11 inches long?
A: Because 12 inches is a foot.
Halloween One Liners
35)Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No Body.
36)Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton?
A: Napoleon Bone-apart.
37)Q: What do you give a skeleton for Valentine’s Day?
A: Bone-Bones in a heart shaped box.
38)Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his?
Harley Davidson motorcycle?
A: I was bone to be wild.

One Liners And Jokes

One Liners And Jokes

39)Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
A: You suck.
40)Q: What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
A: Spare-ribs.
Halloween One Liners
41)Q: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
A: With scare spray.
Halloween One Liners
42)Q: Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy…
43)Q: Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
A: Because vacuum cleaners don’t have long enough cords.
Halloween One Liners
44)Q: Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry?
A: They’re afraid of flying off the handle!
45)Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.
46)Q: What do people say to the parents of twin witches?
A: Which witch is which?
47)Q: How do you make a witch scratch?
A: Take away the W.
48)Q: What was the witches favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling.
49)Q: What do you call the witches garage?
A: The broom closet.
50)Q: Which story do the little witches like to hear at bedtime?
A: Ghoul Deluxe and the 3 scares.
51)Q: What did the ghost buy for his Haunted House?
A: Home Moaners Insurance.
52)Q: What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
A: Fasten yoursheet belts.
53)Q: What are ghosts favorite music?
A: Haunting melodies.
54)Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Spok-etti.
55)Q: What do short-sighted ghosts wear?
A: Spook-tacles.
Halloween One Liners
56)Q: What do you call a drunken ghost?
A: A methylated spirit.
57)Q: Who does a female ghost see on a Friday night?
A: Her Boo-friend.
58)Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl?
A: Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot.
59)Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: “Do you believe in people.”
Halloween One Liners
60)Q: What did one ghost ask another?
A: Do humans exist?

One Liners And Jokes

One Liners And Jokes

61)Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A: A BOO-logna sandwich.
Halloween One Liners
62)Q: Why was the little ghost stupid?
A: Because he climbed over walls.
63)Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: Ice Scream.
64)Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bam-boo.
Halloween One Liners

65)Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo boos.
66)Q: Who is a famous ghost detective?
A: Shelock Moanes.
67)Q: Why did the ghost go to the bar?
A: For the boo-ze.
68)Q:What do you call a ghost that gets too close to a bonfire?
A: A toasty Ghosty.
Halloween One Liners
69)Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist.
Halloween One Liners
70)Q: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
A: Anywhere he can Boo-gie.
71)Q: Where do ghosts live?
A: In a far distant terror-tory.
72)Q: When the male ghost met the female ghost…?
A: It was love at first fright.
73)Q: What’s the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
A: They boo-kle their seatbelts.
Halloween One Liners
74)Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: To the dayscare center.
75)Q: What is a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation?
A: A scareplane.
Halloween One Liners
76)Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until your spooken to.
77)Q: What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
A: Booberries…
78)Q: Why do ghosts like tall buildings?
A: `Cos they have a lot of scarecases.
79)Q: Why did the ghost go the the doctor?
A: To get his Boo-ster shot.
80)Q: When does a ghost need a license?
A: During Haunting season.
Halloween One Liners
81)Q: What is a Mummies’ favorite type of music?
A: Wrap!!!!!
82)Q: Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
A: They’re so wrapped up in themselves.
Halloween One Liners
83)Q: Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A: They’re good at keeping things under wraps.
84)Q: Why did the mummy call the doctor?
A: Because he was coffin.
Halloween One Liners
85)Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?
A: To the dead sea.

One Liners And Jokes

One Liners And Jokes

86)Q: What do you call a friendly dead Egyptian?
A: A chummy mummy.
87)Q: Who goes to the monster’s PTA?
A: Mummies and Deadies.
88)Q: What do you do when 20 monsters surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!
89)Q: What kind of streets do monsters like the best?
A: Dead ends and Skull-the-sacs.
Halloween One Liners
90)Q: Do monsters eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately…
91)Q: Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
A: Because he was in need of a light snack.
92)Q: Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
A: Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
93)Q: How do monsters know their future?
A: They read their HORRORSCOPES.
Halloween One Liners
94)Q: What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A: A wash and wear wolf.
95)Q: What’s a monsters favorite play?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet.
96)Q: What monster flies his kite in a rainstorm?
A: Benjamin Frankenstein.
Halloween One Liners
97)Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist?
A: He was repossessed.
98)Q: What do Italians eat on halloween?
A: Fetuccini A-fraid-o.
99)Q: What’s a haunted chicken?
A: A poultry-geist.
Halloween One Liners
100)Q: What game do little cannibals like to play at parties?
A: Swallow the leader.
101)Q: What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s
corn flakes?
A: A cereal killer…
102) Q: Why are demons and ghouls always together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend.

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